taking control of change

it’s amazing how quickly we find ourselves stuck in a rut, or just in a routine.  we don’t do well wandering aimlessly.  well, i don’t anyway, and i think it’s a safe bet to say that most of us don’t.  i recently came across a web site www.tinybuddha.com and its helped me rethink things.  there is no hard and fast rule for living your life, but the site has helped me re-open my mind and my eyes.  its a glass is half empty and half full sort of world.  recognize why it is empty and figure out how to make it full again.  no one can make me happy. that is up to me.  if someone says or does something to me, before i jump to a rash and possibly negative reaction, i need to take a second to consider why they did or said what they did.  be empathetic. im not making excuses or trying to avoid confrontation, but we need to look at the bigger picture.  our lives are all inter-connected with the environment around us.  no one thing has total control, unless we let it.  im tired of feeling exhausted, unhappy, wanting what others have. the only thing i have total control over is myself.  i can work on my thinking, my attitude, my outlook, my diet, my body, etc…  i can.  i need to stop saying i can’t, and later because nothing good comes out of that.  later never happens.  ok, so it’s all well and good that i have the motivation, now i have to put it into action.  this part sucks.  its easy to say, so now i must do. i want to reconnect with all the simple pleasures life and friendship has to offer.  i want to be happy in the moment and not always focused on the what if’s of the future.  i’ve made a promise to myself to do something every day and will keep a journal of it.  i’ll add thoughts and quotes to it as i find things out about myself or that help me clarify an action.  im kind of nervous about it, but im excited at the same time.  im tired of walking in the shadow of who i want to me.  it’s time to be me and go for my dreams.  so what if i fall? not that it wont hurt, but i’ll just get back up and keep going.  isn’t that how we learned to walk as babies.

‘the miracle is not that i finished, the miracle is that i had the courage to start’